The Wait

With all the training, classes, and paperwork now complete we begin the waiting process.  The waiting for our first placement.  Our hope is that it will be our one and only placement.  We are looking for a boy that is available for adoption menaing that parental rights have been terminated.  One that is looking for a forever family as we are looking for a forever son.

Our preferences were for a a boy age 12 and up.  Although we may consider a little younger depending on the circumstances.  By choosing this age it puts us in a position where TPR is most likely.  If reunification occurs while they are in the system it is typical for it to happen while younger age.  Most foster/adoptive parents are looking for young kids or even babies and shy away from the older/teens.  It is unfortunate but the teens know that and the reality of being adopted or finding a home is less likely.  Really quite sad.  

Kristi and I's experience match well with older kids as well and we look forward to sharing adventures as we do with some of the other young men we have a relationship with now.  Additionally, we have several young nieces and nephews and a god-daughter.  Plus, the younger kids tend to wear us out and not sure if we have that level of energy to give.  No matter what, we want it to be a equitable situation for both of us.

So, while waiting, we are spending our time praying for our future son and meditating on what life will be like with filling our home with another person.  We have also viewed potential profiles through Heart Gallery of Tennessee and AdoptUSkids.org.  We have several picked out and submitted their profiles to our agency contact to see if there is a possible match.  Although their public profiles don't share a lot of information because they are public we hope to learn more about them.  The good news with going through an agency such as Youth Villages we have the option of "pre-placement" visit which means we can actually meet the kid before hand for a few hours, a day, or even a week to see if we fit well together.

Also, we have been working on a letter to welcome our kid and a little gift basket full of snacks and other little essentials to make them feel welcomed.  We have seen other foster parents do this as well.  Of this whole process, the one thing I am most nervous about is that first initial meeting or first night in our home.  I am sure they will be just as nervous or anxious as we are.  I would love to give them a great big hug when they first arrive but I know that would just be too much for them.  A video was shared with us of an example of the first meeting/drop off and thought it was great.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwTXTreXUh4

One characteristic we have noticed in watching and reading all these profiles is that they all like to eat.  They are all also looking for a family that will love them, support them, and be there when they need it  Some have even mentioned just checking in on them at night and giving them a hug or doing things together as a family.  Breaks my heart that there are kids out there just wanting a home.  We hope to do that soon.

While we are looking at profiles it is kind of like "kid shopping" and I have a hard time with that.  The reason being is that you can be as specific as you want, age, sex, race, sexual preferences, religion, etc.  Like and interests.  Natural parents don't always get to choose those characteristics.  The other part that I have found difficult is that they are all worthy of a good home but we can only choose one to join our family.  And so that means out of 100 I have to reject 99 kids.  Kids that may NEVER get a home and will age out of the system with no family to love on them.  I hate that, but I just have to focus on the difference I can make in that 1 kid.  If I could, and I a house that would support it, I would take on several.  I think big families are great with their added chaos and flavor.  But so are small families.  So, here we are, in the waiting process.  Praying to fill our home and our hearts.