The Training and Certification Process
After we made our initial interest known it began the ball rolling. I will say that it can be pretty intense and time consuming between attending the training sessions as well as the required paperwork, biographies, interviews, and background checks. Youth Villages was very good and breaking things down for us, otherwise, it would be just overwhelming and I think most people would just quit before ever getting started if they knew the full extent of getting "certified". The paperwork alone would stop anyone.
There were several training sessions we had to attend through DCS and then we had some additional sessions hosted by Youth Villages. Each session was approximately 3-4 hours. Because of COVID we had to do all this through web conferencing. Attendance is taken each time and if you miss a session you are required to make it up. Considering they only offer these sessions periodically that means it could push you timeline WAY back to getting certified. So you really do have to make an effort to attend EVERY class on the original date.
We began with the DCS sessions because it just worked out that way on the schedule. I am glad we did the DCS stuff first though because it would have been confusing to do the agency's and then go back because the good part of working through an agency is that the documentation requirements on foster paretnts from DCS is heavily subsidized by the agency. Another value point of working with an agency.
The classes we took were:
- Creating Normalcy through Prudent Parenting
- Trauma Informed Parenting Strategies - Part 1
- Trauma Informed Parenting Strategies - Part 2
- Medication Administration
This session was mainly about making decisions as parents and helping foster youth maintain a sense of normalcy. They come to your home and have lost their connections to their family, their friends, often times their school, siblings, and pets. We discussed the importance of treating foster kids the same as your own "bio-kids" and if you would let your kid do something then the same reasoning should be applied to the foster kid. Now, we say that but we also have to keep in mind any past behavioral issues, or trauma experienced by the foster kid. So again, using prudent parenting in the decision process. It was a good exercise going through different scenarios of decisions. Our class was about 140 participants and I won't say we ALL agreed on some of the same methods but we were considering different aspects of each case. I actually enjoyed this session and got some great validation in methods I have used before in the past. I honestly would recommend ANY person who is a parent or thinking about becoming a parent that this would be a good course to take.
Trauma Informed Parenting Stategies Part 1 & 2
During this session we discussed types of traumas that youths can experience. Everything from attachment losses as well as abuse and the many forms of abuse. Many times a youth could be reacting a certain way because of some past experience that may be unknown. We talked about pshycology and brain development as well. The biggest takeaway would be learning about the "flipped lid" example and also learning to ask not "What's Wrong With You?" but "What Happened TO YOU?". We also learned how it is important not to over react ourselves to situations, remain calm, and exhibit patience and love in all situations. Sometimes, confronting a situation while emotions are running high, or there is a "flipped lid" involved is not the best timing. But rather, to wait and then discuss the situation later when possible. During all these training session we had pre and post homework and they would often involve a video. Some videos were Ted talks, some were psychology, and we had one continuous video with different episodes based around a foster kid name "Zoe". In one episode "Zoe" flipped her lid when the foster parent bought her a nice dress. Zoe became angry because she was traumatized when her father beat her mother for wearing a nice dress. The foster parent was obviously hurt that her gift was rejected but she exhibited love and patience. Sometimes, we just don't know what has HAPPENED to them in the past and that is why we have to be patient.
Medication Administration
This was a pretty straight forward session. It wasn't as long as the others which is good but just as important. We learned about asking about medications, keeping a record of medications and when given. Also, it was interesting learning about their rights in refusing to take medication. They do have the right to refuse and we can not force them but there is a process and a form must be signed when they refuse. Ultimately, it is just a long process that reverts back to the court forcing the child to take the medication so it is just simpler for them to take it in the first place. We also learned about getting traveling medications filled so that where ever they are, they actually have the prescription bottle with them. Which, after spending time on the Grand Jury, is good to know for yourself personally. Many people carry their pills in like a pill purse or those organizer trays but if you are pulled over or searched, you will need to provide evidence that those are legitimately prescribed medications to the proper person. One of the over-reaching lessons learned, in my opinion, is that even when administering first aid such as a band-aide or Tylenol for head ache, you have to document that. Similar as if you were working as a school nurse. To me, I think this is a little too much but it is what the state requires. I will say that there is a LOT of paperwork you have to maintain with a foster kid and keep with you at all times.
After completing the DCS trainings we moved on to the Youth Villages training sessions. There were 4 modules online which were taught by Youth Villages personnel and also a CPR/First Aid class. The classes were much smaller. For DCS the average size was 100-140 participants all over the state. For Youth Villages we had about 3 families with us. Beacuase of the smaller class size our interactions were a lot better between each other and the trainer.
Module 1: Navigating the Child Welfare System
This was a very informative session in which we learned about the "system" and the process within it. How someone comes into foster care and the process while in foster care. The ultimate is always reunification with the birth parents but that may not always be the result. Some times when reunification is not possible the court will "TPR" a foster kid. Which means they will Terminate Parental Rights. That child then becomes available for adoption. We also learn about some of the paperwork and profiles that is conducted on each child in the system.
Module 2: Exploring the Impact of Trauma
In this session we learned the effect trauma can have on the brain and the different types of stress. There positive stress, tolerable, and toxic stresses. Also, ways that we can build resilience in youth through shared positive experiences. This session was quite interesting using some charts and graphs showing the different effects. We also learned about the way the brain thinks and how we can train it to react. This session was very worthy of being 3 hours long because of all the concepts and even helped to discover ourselves and how we think and react. The best part is learning how to recognize different types of trauma behavior. Of course, we discussed abuse and the affects that has as well as recognizing the behavior presented as a result. Predictable triggers included such things as Court Hearing, Visits with birth family, Holidays, Missed visits, and transitions of any kind. Additionally, we addressed grief and what that looks like and how to adapt and overcome. There some kids who come into foster care because there is a loss of parent or guardian.
Module 3: Roadmap to Resliience
So as I mentioned before in the previous module, helping kids build resilience is key in their own transformation. Taking the bad experiences, losses, and other negative events that they have encountered in their life and find ways to create a positive outcome. One of which I believe we would be exceptional at is created positive shared experiences. Camping, hiking, traveling, etc. But could be something as simple as having dinner together as a family or have a game night. We also explore the concept of creating a circle of trust which illustrated by a child being able to return to a loving parent or guardian when ever the feel scared or insecure. We also explore an illustration using a fulcrum to balance negative and positive outcomes and where that fulcrum is placed is dependent on the impact of positive life experiences. So the more positive experience a kid has, the more positive outcomes they we will experience.
Module 4: Rerouting Trauma Behaviors
Basically in this session we talked alot about discipline. What was acceptable and not acceptable. Creating a list of house rules as well as how and when to discuss them with the child was discussed. Several examples of how to connect with a child were presented and we also talked about our own styles as foster parents. For us I kind of heavily relied on my own upbringing. We had a set of rules in which we created as well as the consequences for each. Some consequences were natural. Like, if we didn't put our dirty clothes in the laundry basket they didn't get washed. If we didn't pick up our toys we would lose them for a time. After so many times they would be thrown away. Also, we would have a family meeting to discuss situations and decisions together. The REROUTE tool stands for:
- Routines/Structure
- Engaged Contact
- Respect
- Ongoing Consistency
- Underlying Needs
- Teach Skills
- Enjoy Time Together
Policies & Procedures
After finishing these modules we had a session on policies and procedures including our rights as foster parents, the foster kid's rights, as well as decisions and things we can and can not do. Some of the more interesting things include Hair cuts can only be decided by the LEGAL parent which could be DCS or the birth parent. Another thing is we have an appeals process if the foster kid wishes to make a complaint against the foster parent. Another item would be room inspections. We also covered general stuff like if we have a pool, firearms, alcohol in the house and such. The information was interesting as well and of course I keep a printed copy for my reference.
CPR & First Aid Certification
The next session we had was an in-personal training for CPR/First Aid. This was a 6 hour session I think and we did it in the evening. Because of COVID it was just my wife and I and the trainer. I will say that as an EAGLE Scout I was all over this. I have been through so many First Aid classes and advanced classes that I was expecting the same type of material. To my surprise it was really kind of general. With scouts we practiced doing splints, carrying people, making stretchers, and all kinds of stuff. But not quite with this class and it was of course a Red Cross class. So, what I am saying is, I found it a lot easier than what I was used to.
Paperwork
In the midst of completing these training modules we had a HUGE application packet to fill out. It had the standard stuff like name, address, and such. But then it got into what our child preferences were from age, sex, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. Also, what behaviors were acceptable. There were biographical questions like, tell me about your childhood, where did you grow up. What do you remember about how your parent's relationship was or discipline. Did I experience any trauma growing up such as abuse, neglect, or having to move alot. Why did I move alot? Tell me about your income and expenses (the want to make sure you are not dependent on the reimbursement for income). Tell about your career and peronal relationships. Who is your support network and how will they help. They also wanted to know my my relationship with my wife, how we met, dated, etc and also our sexual experience oddly enough. We had to list references which were sent packets to be filled out and also had to list 3 support families that would be available to supervise the kids if we could not. By the end of filling out this information packet our life would be an open book. Some things got really personal.
Many of the questions we had write essay responses. I was so relieved when I got to questions that where check boxes. Additionally we had provide all kinds of supporting documents such as Driver's license, home/auto/health insurance policies. Marriage certificates, bank statements, and more that I can't even remember.
Background Checks
We also had to get fingerprinted and authorize for criminal and background checks. The agency paid for all that which was great. The hardest part was finding a finger printing agency with a time slot available. It was a busy time I guess. Plus, we also had to get physician approvals and health checks to make sure we were healthy enough ourselves to raise a child. Oh, I forgot to mention that if you have animals, they need their health checkup up date and vaccines as well. We had to submit those records and a profile of each dog with their personality. Luckily we are looking at older kids and so we didn't have to do all the vaccine stuff.
Interviews
Next up was Interviews and Home Study. So they will interview us together as a couple and then separately. The questions are typically the same biographical questions in the application but just digging into more detail. Mainly about your childhood and then your adulthood and relationship with others such as family and friends. The hardest part of providing DOB's for grandparents and date of death and age for anyone who had passed away. We also talked about how those losses affect us. Also, the parenting style of each of our parents and how we see our own parenting style. These interviews are about 1 to 1 1/2 hours long. There is a clinical interview which more about what type of kid we are looking for and discussing those acceptable behaviors along with a little biographical background on us from previous interviews.
Home Inspection
This one...well, let's just say you are basically preparing for this from day one. Or at least I was. I went crazy with cleaning and repairing stuff. Re-decorating the kid's future room and bathroom. You have to have all kinds of security. The medicine cabinet has to have a lock and any prescriptions must be double-locked. Cleaning supplies kept in a locked cabinet, alcohol/tobacco/lighters kept locked away or removed from the home. One thing that surprised me was even the kitchen knives had to be locked up. Really? But you have to. I bought an RFID cabinet lock for our medicine cabinet in our kitchen and also got a free prescription lock box from the local Anti-Drug coalition. I bought a digital door lock for our hallway closet where we keep the cleaning supplies as well extra linens and the vacuum and brooms. Then I bought some magnetic locks for some of the kitchen drawers that have knives in them. I wanted a few keys as possible. Also, any firearms have to be locked in a safe with a trigger lock and ammunition kept separate (which if you had a intruder now I am going from one room to another to have a functioning weapon for defense). We also had to post an emergency escape plan and where to meet in the event of a fire along with all the emergency contact phone numbers. We had to tell DCS/Youth Villages in the event we had to evacuate our house where we would go.
I did all these things and when the inspection time came, it was a piece of cake. I know I over-stressed it and either I had things incredibly in order or made it out worse than I thought it was. It really only took about 5-10 minutes. We showed each room of the house and the precautions taken, where the smoke detectors were located, and the emergency plan posted. We also had to DRAW a floor plan of our house and indicate doors, windows, smoke detectors, fire extinguisher, and first aid kit locations. This was for those in the agency who have never been in our home to know the layout. Additionally I had to basically type out a home tour walk through. Took longer than I expected and submit a picture of Kristi and I in front of the house. All this was to be added to our profile so when they talk with the kids they would be able to see what we look like and our home just as we get to read and see information about their profiles.
The End
And that's it. That has been our process which began late April and we finished the end of July. After all that was done our case file is submitted to DCS for approval and then we are certified and can began talking about placements. It is a long process but goes by quickly because you are kept incredibly busy. I will say, KEEP A BINDER of all the paperwork. It will make things so much easier. I had everything in the binder and then I moved things to a folder when I submitted documents. Organization is essential.
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