Our First Call

Surprise!  We got our first call!  I was laying in bed because I have been dealing with a VERY ANGRY tooth the last couple of days and just came back from the dentist with some prescriptions to ease the pain and was finally able to sleep or nap because I didn't sleep at all the night before when the phone rang.  Well, actually, I didn't answer the phone the first time because I was knocked out.  But when I came to I check the call log and saw a number I didn't recognize but they left a voicemail.

It was our foster agency with a placement.  I sat there and was like, okay, this is happening.  Are we ready? This is what we were waiting for.  My wife was out doing some shopping at the time and so she wasn't there when I called back. 

I was a little nervous but I hit the redial button and off we went.  The agency began describing this little boy.  She prefaced by saying, "We know he is a little younger than you prefer but we thought of you guys because he is a sweet kid and everyone has told me how precious you all are."  Well gosh, how could I say "No" now?

She went on to describe the situation and what brought him into care.  Suffering some physical and emotional abuse.  Basically being treated like an animal and nuisance by his parents.  For confidential reasons I can't give too many details but I will say he is younger than 10 years old and weighed less than 20Ibs when he came into the system.  He had been in care for only a few weeks and had gained another 20 Ibs.  That's good, but awful at the same time.  I thought to myself, I have a Chihuahua that weighed almost as much as he did!

He was kept locked in his room and could only come out to eat which apparently wasn't very much and had a bucket in his room to relieve himself.  I had heard stories of similar incidents but I couldn't believe this stuff was real.  That people would actually treat a child in this way!  From people that can't have a kid and wanted a kid this only makes me angry when people mistreat or abuse their own children.  In many ways, after being throuugh foster parenting classes I am a close believer that perhaps people should have to take a parenting class (but I am sure the government would find a way to make it required to have  a license and there have population control....anyways I will get off the conspiracy theorist route lol).

Well, my thoughts turned to, yes he is a little younger, but he meets our criteria of being a victim of unfortunate circumstance.  But also, with being younger he would require a certain energy level we probably would not have.  Also, I knew this would most likely be a temporary situation as everyone would try to work towards reunification with either the parents or most likely his grandparents.  

My niece and I had talked over the weekend, she is around the same age and a dancing star, about us fostering and adopting and she has a heart of gold.  She was concerned about loving our kid and then them leaving and having to face heart broken and loss.  I told her we were only looking for those kids that would most likely be permanent.  

Also, our house is really setup for young kids, we don't have much to entertain them and the bedroom is definitely for an older kid.  So with all those factors in mind, and it killed me to do so, I said that I don't think we would be a good fit.  I hated to say that.  In fact I still agonized over it all night and talking to my friends and family if whether or not I made the right decision.  I spent time in our prayer room and seeking the peace of Christ in that situation and thought, well, if I don't find peace then I may change my mind.

I could help but to think about what his particular situation would require, between dealing with the current school situation around COVID, assisting him in the school work, court appointments and parental visits, etc.  And the fact that travel would be involved because of where he was coming from.  I didn't want him to get the impression that he would be a burden on us and just didn't think it would be fair to him.  But again, I would do it if I really felt led too.

Well, the next morning I got confirmation.  The agency was nice enough to let me know that had been able to place him with a foster family that he was already familiar with.  They had a work issue I think and that was why the agency was trying to find another placement for him.  But they worked it out.  So the kid was able to stay with people that he knew rather than being taken to a new and strange home with people he didn't.  I felt very relieved that it worked out and I hope this kid is able to begin a new positive life and perhaps his bio-family is able to take the necessary steps to reunite.  But, if not, then I know there will be a loving home waiting for him.

And so, we wait for the next call and continue to pray for our future son.