Full Disclosure Meeting for Mr. M

 


Tuesday, August 18th

Today I was checking in with our agency concerning the kiddo we decided that we wanted to move forward with to see what the next steps were.  Everything about this is new and trying to navigate unchartered waters.  Quite often, you feel a little lost because you don't recognize the path and with every motion or rocking of the boat you question if it is normal or something to be alarmed about.

A few hours later I got an email asking what days and times would be good for my wife and to have a conference call with the kiddo's care team for the following week to do a "FULL DISCLOSURE".  Well, that really made me nervous because I am now thinking, how much more does this kid have in his history and trauma?  Is he going to be more than we can handle?  Will we be the right fit for him?

She said we need to set aside about 2 hours of our time for the call.  I am thinking, we spent just a little over an hour already getting information on him prior to saying, "yes we want to move forward"so how much more is there that we don't know?  Gosh, my thoughts were running wild now at this point.  Wild with anxiety and questioning.  

I responded back asking if she had time to talk for a minute so I can learn more about this "Full Disclosure" thing.  I also sent her a text.  Basically asking if this was a normal part of the process or if I should be nervous.  Which I stated  that I completely understand that it would be better to do something like this PRIOR to setting up the pre=placement visits or video chats so as to protect the kiddo from heart break if we decide NOT to move forward during those pre-placement visits.  

My understanding was that once we said "yes" last week that we would begin those pre-placement visits of maybe a couple of times per week for video chats this coming week.  But it seems there is more to it.  Which is fine, because throughout this whole process I have learned that if knew EVERYTHING and EVERY STEP of the process at the beginning the average person would not go through it.

Our agency contact and said that it was a required step in certain parts of the state.  Where this kiddo is, it is required.  So that calmed me down a little and she used a good analogy that it was like shopping for a car and asking for the CARFAX except this was like getting a KIDFAX.  Basically they would walk us through his entire life from birth to present.

So, we scheduled that call for next week and are eagerly awaiting that information.  Throughout this entire adventure I am having to look at this from two perspectives.  From within (my own thoughts and emotions, fears, anxietyies, and hopes) and also from without (evaluating our "system" of child welfare and the process for foster parents).


We will update on further developments. for this particular kiddo.  Eventually we will have to give him a name, Perhaps..Mr. M!

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